this tragedy is paving the way to my heart
by prettypinklips
Summary: The one where Damon Salvatore's girlfriend dies and he's stuck with her ghost and a whole lot of angst. -— Damon/Caroline. Discontinued
1. Chapter 1

**this tragedy is paving the way to my heart**

.

and so they say lord, for everything a reason  
>for every ending, a new beginning<p>

- for everything a reason, carina round

* * *

><p>PART ONE.<p>

* * *

><p>The morning of the worst day of Damon Salvatore's life starts out like any other.<p>

A light fall drizzle of rain, the scent of the forest surrounding the house he shared with his younger brother in the air, sun peaking up over a thin shroud of clouds. Waking up that morning, he had mentally declared it a good day. The shower he jumped into after waking up five minutes early was warm and calmed his sleep jitters. The bowl of Lucky Charms he scarfed down had extra marshmallows. When he slipped into his leather jacket the perfume his girlfriend, Caroline Forbes, wore and the smell of her skin filled his nose and added another shot to his good mood.

His brother Stefan waves as he goes to pick up his girlfriend Elena, and Damon climbs into his own car, already picking up his phone and dialing Caroline's number. Five minutes later, she slides into his car, pulling her bed head into a sloppy bun, cheerleading uniform on, piece of cinnamon toast (her favorite breakfast food) caught between her teeth. She speaks around the toast, "I'd kiss you, but I'm eating," it comes out as gibberish, but he gets the gist of it. He just grins, flicks the dial of his heater up, and pulls out of her driveway.

The drive to school is filled with Caroline's mindless chatter and Top 40 blasting from the radio station she'd chosen. She's saying something about making up a test after school and not being able to make it to the movie night they've had planned with Stefan, Elena, Bonnie, and Jeremy. To be honest, he could care less about that. He knows she'll crawl into his window after her mom (he takes great joy in knowing he's pulling the wool over Sheriff Forbes' head) is asleep, and they'll lay in his bed, not talking about anything in particular, but just _being. _Those nights are his favorite. They'll fall asleep with their legs tangled together, Caroline wearing one of his t-shirts and nothing else, her head on his chest or sharing his pillow. He's totally whipped and he knows it. But so what? He's a seventeen year old kid with a smoking hot girlfriend (who is also a cheerleader), who, if he's gonna be honest, he's kind of in love with. He hadn't actually intended to like her for more than anything other than the sex, but she set up shop in his heart with her cute little smile and the swing of her hips, and he's pretty okay with that. So, he shrugs, says it's no big deal, reaches for her hand, and pulls into the parking lot of the school.

Damon pulls into the space beside Stefan, who's leaning against the driver side door of his own car, Elena tucked into his side. Elena waves as Damon steps out, walking around the front of his black Honda and opening Caroline's door. She steps out like a princess, as usual, and flounces towards Elena, cheerleading skirt bouncing around her thighs. He watches the girls walk away, and jumps slightly when Stefan claps him on the back and says, "Focus. You can think about that little skirt later."

Damon grabs him around the neck, rubbing his knuckles into his little brother's head until their classmates are pointing and laughing and Stefan is squealing like a girl, crying, "Uncle, uncle!" over and over.

Life is good.

Scratch that, life is _great._

For many years to come, Damon will look back on this day, and will wonder what he could have done to stop _it _from happening. The truth is, he couldn't have done anything. And he thinks that the cold hard truth might be the saddest thing of all.

Later that day, Damon's standing beside Caroline's locker, hands in the pocket of his jeans. She comes out of her fourth period class, smiling widely when she sees him. "Hi!" she cries cheerfully, bouncing towards him and kissing his cheek. She spins around immediately, pulling her hair out of its bun, "Can you fix it? You do it best."

Damon rolls his eyes, but gathers her hair in his hands, running his fingers through the strands, sorting through the tangles. He takes the hair-tie from her waiting hand and pulls it around her hair, gently knotting it in place. She turns back around when he's done, and surges forward, arms wrapping around his waist. Without thinking, his arms wrap around her shoulders, and he kisses the top of her head. "What's this for?" he asks into her hair.

Her little shoulders shrug up and down, "I don't know. I just love you." she looks up at him, tilting her head and smiling. She stands on her tiptoes, kissing him before he has the chance to say it back. Completely forgetting that they're in a hallway surrounded by other students, he lets go of her shoulders and slides one of his hands into her hair, securing her against him. The other hand travels down her spine, resting on the small of her back. She smiles against his lips, giggling a little when he lowers his hand and slips it under the edge of her skirt. A quick succession of pecks all over her face, and she's full blown laughing against his mouth, squealing when he tickles her outer thigh. She pulls away after a moment, resting her hands on his shoulders.

"I love you, too." Damon says gently, pulling a hand through his messy hair. She smiles in answer, tucks her hand into his, and drags him to the cafeteria.

When they get there, they sit at their usual table with Stefan and the others. Caroline plops a salad onto the table, picks up a spork, and goes to town on the leafy greens. Damon watches her in amusement as she makes a face, swallowing. He knows she's on a diet (with the exception of her cinnamon roast) for cheer, and he also knows she hates salad. He gets up, jumps in line, and comes back with a mound of junk food. When he sits back down, she stares at his food. She swallows another bite of salad and points to a bag of chips. "You gonna eat that?" she asks.

Damon smiles, shakes his head, and says, "No, but you are." before handing it to her.

Caroline grins happily and rips the bag open, stuffing her hand into the bag and shoveling the chips down her throat. He watches her for a moment, smiling at her junk food quirk.

"God, you guys are so cutesy it's disgusting." Bonnie says, wrinkling her nose. "I'm going to get cavities from all of the sugary sweet feelings you two are putting out." Caroline shrugs while Damon looks mildly offended. Bonnie sticks her tongue out at him, and he considers stabbing her with Caroline's salad spork.

"Jealous?" Caroline quips, reaching out and wrapping an arm around Damon's middle.

Bonnie pretends to look mildly disgusted, and the rest of their lunch continues as it usually does. Damon and Bonnie tease the hell out of each other. Stefan and Elena sext. Caroline munches on Damon's food and complains about the test she has to take after school. Jeremy makes eyes at Bonnie. It's not perfect by any means, and sometimes he wants to kill them, but he's content in knowing that things will be like this for another year. He's not stupid enough to believe that they'll stay together as a group after high school. But hell, he's only a junior, he's got another year to figure things out. It doesn't matter if their group loses touch because he'll have Caroline. He's already decided he's going to marry the girl.

* * *

><p>The last hour of the day rolls around, and Damon snags his girl just as she's about to walk into her last class. She's a few steps ahead of him, and he lengthens his stride to catch up, eyes on her bouncing ponytail and swinging skirt. He catches her off guard, wrapping his arms around her from behind, "Skip with me." he murmurs in her ear.<p>

Caroline turns in his arms, hands resting on his chest. She lifts an eyebrow, "You're corrupting me." she accuses, a smile lighting her face.

Damon takes that as a yes, and drags her out of the building before any teachers can see them. "Race you!" she cries as they hit the parking lot, dropping his hand and shooting towards his car. He lets her win, and by the time he makes it to the car, she's leaning against it, pouting. "You always let me win." she whines as he comes towards her.

Damon ticks an eyebrow up, "Would you prefer to lose?" he asks, opening the driver's door and tossing his bag inside.

"Well, I wanna win by myself once!" Caroline pouts, stomping her foot. He rolls his eyes, shutting the driver's door in one second, and pressing her against the side of the car in another. She smiles up at him, and he grins back because she's adorable. He leans down, leisurely pressing his mouth against hers. She nips at his lips, wrapping her hands around the base of his neck. She reaches behind her with one hand, opening the door to the backseat.

Knowing what happens next, a grin lights Damon's face, and he pushes Caroline into the backseat, pouncing on her. She squeals, her hair coming loose and fanning out around her. He pushes it away from her face, peppering her cheeks and lips with kisses. "Stop it!" she giggles, wiggling around, wrapping her legs loosely around his waist.

"Don't do that," Damon groans when she wiggles a little too forcefully, and Caroline grins mischievously. She sits up, kissing him soundly, slowly, softly. Coming up for air, she pulls him down on top of her.

"We'll always be together, right?" Caroline asks, tilting her head.

"As long as you'll have me." Damon murmurs, nuzzling her cheek.

"So, forever then?" Caroline smiles.

"Mhm." Damon agrees, bunching up the fabric of her cheer shirt in his hand, pushing it up her stomach. He presses a kiss to her navel, looking up at her from underneath his lashes. "Forever sounds nice." Damon will replay this particular moment over and over again in the coming months. He should have begged her to take that stupid test later. He should have offered to pick her up instead of letting her walk. Should've, could've, would've. He blames himself, really. (It's not his fault, but that doesn't change anything.) In the span of a day, he'll lose everything that he's come to love and cherish. He will be emotionally devastated for years after this day. But for now, he's content, wrapped up in Caroline. He doesn't know that in less than four hours, his whole world will come crashing down.

For now, though, it's just them in the backseat of his car, and that's enough. The ending of the school day comes sooner than Damon would have wanted it to, but soon students are filing out of the building and Caroline's pushing him off of her and wiggling back into her skirt. She kisses him goodbye and waves over her shoulder at him as she goes back into the building to take her test.

* * *

><p>(This is the last time he'll see her alive.)<p>

* * *

><p>Stefan and Elena meet him then, Elena rambling to him about her day even though he never asked, and Stefan pretending to listen intently.<p>

They hang around the boarding house for awhile, watching TV until Bonnie comes over with the movies. Damon waits impatiently for his phone to vibrate, but a text from Caroline never comes. It's unusual, but perhaps her teacher had taken her phone. She was always getting the damn thing taken away because she was caught using it in class. So he watches the movies with Stefan, Bonnie, Elena, and Jeremy, and waits and waits and waits.

When the doorbell rings, Damon expects it to be Caroline. He gets up, swinging the door open, smile on his face. But it's not Caroline. It's a tired looking middle aged man with a receding hair line. Black suit, black thick rimmed glasses. He's holding a pad of paper. "Damon Salvatore?" the man asks, looking up from his little pad of paper.

Damon nods, "What's going on?" he asks. He feels something in the world shift when he looks at this black suit clad man. It settles into his bones and he realizes that something is terribly, terribly wrong.

"I'm Detective Black, and I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're Caroline Forbes' boyfriend, correct?" Detective Black squints at him from under his glasses.

"Yeah, is she alright?" Damon asks, suddenly anxious.

Detective Black licks his lips, eyes growing sad. He slips his glasses off, and says, "Son, I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you this, but we found Caroline's body in the school parking lot an hour ago. It looks like a mugging gone wrong..." his voice fades out, and Damon grows stock still, disbelieving.

"No, Caroline's fine. We're having a movie night, and-and..." Damon runs a hand through his hair, unsure. "She's not-she's not dead."

Detective Black puts his glasses back on, reaching out and putting a hand on Damon's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, son. But she's gone. Her mom's down at the station, she asked me to come get you personally."

* * *

><p>The next few hours pass in a blur. Bonnie, Jeremy, and Elena are still at the boarding house with Stefan, and they're hanging on to Damon's infrequent updates. Damon sits at the police station, holding Liz Forbes' hand and keeping her together, while simultaneously trying to keep himself together. He refuses to help identify her body. When Liz is in the morgue, he hears two policeman who had responded to the scene talking. "Her head was bashed into the ground," the blonde with the thin eyebrows is saying, making a bashing motion with his hands. Damon winces and sinks into his seat. "Guess is was all just for a couple of bucks, too. A homeless guy saw her getting some stuff out of her purse and mugged her. Girl only had a ten, chump change. She didn't go down without a fight, though. The guy's got scratches all over his face. Poor girl. She was pretty. He did a number on her skull." the other policeman notices Damon, and elbows his friend. They grow quiet and solemn, returning to their paperwork.<p>

Damon keeps his head down, staring at the ugly tiled floor, counting the specks on black and grey against the white backdrop. When Liz comes back, he looks up. She's wringing her hands together, "It was her, wasn't it?" he asks, though he already knows the answer.

Liz nods, and whispers, "I'm so sorry, baby boy." her voice cracking. She sways on the spot.

Damon jumps up, catching her as she collapses. He's never seen the Sheriff lose control like this. Never. Not even when she was fighting with Caroline and dishes were being thrown. Liz sinks to the ground, bringing Damon with her. Hearing her sobs, he lets his own resolve crack, and soon, it's just the two of them and their harsh spine breaking sobs.

* * *

><p>Damon doesn't remember much of the next week, only that he gets up every morning and goes to school and expects her to be there, standing beside his locker, smiling, and whispering, "April Fool's!"<p>

It's not April.

Elena doesn't come to school for the next four days. Jeremy sticks with his sister. Stefan locks himself in his room. Bonnie shows up, but doesn't say a word to anyone. The world seems darker now. He walks the halls, goes to the classes they used to have together. It's strange. Everyone around him gives him worried glances. Some tell them they're sorry for his loss.

The funeral happens that Saturday, five days after her death. He sits beside Liz the entire time, holding her hand, letting her cry on his shoulder. The church part passes in a blur, and he doesn't really pay attention because he's not really religious, but Caroline believed in heaven and all of that, so he supposes it's worth it. The next part is the hard part. They're at the cemetery where Elena's parents are buried, but nobody pays them any attention now. He watches her casket get lowered into the ground. It was closed for the church ceremony. He doesn't want to think of her wrapped up in her prettiest dress, makeup done, hair done, but skin cold and lifeless. Liz urges him forward when the casket hits the ground, and stuffs a bouquet of Caroline's favorite flowers into his hand. She wipes her eyes, and whispers, "Do her proud."

Oh, this is the part where he makes a speech. Tells the world how much he misses her, tells god how much he hates him for taking her away. The day they skipped school and whispered forever seems so long ago.

"She hated roses." Damon says, looking down at the white daisies in his hand, "Said they were too cliche. She liked little flowers, the ones little kids pick and bring to their moms. She was weird like that." he pauses, dropping the daisies into the hole. He looks back up just in time to see Elena wiping away a few stray tears. She nods at him, encouraging him to go on. "I-I loved her. I _love _her. I was gonna marry her, you know? And we were gonna have a house and a dog and two cats. And she was gonna be the mother of my children, and-and-" his voice cracks, and without warning, a tear slips down his cheek, "and we were gonna grow old together." he looks down into the hole, sees the white daisies piled on her casket, and winces. "But now none of that's going to happen, and I don't know what to do with myself."

Damon wipes his eyes then sticks his hands into the pockets of his slacks, "I just hope that what everyone says about heaven is true, because if anyone deserves that kind of a place, it's Caroline. And-and I hope that when I die, maybe I can meet her there." he steps away from the hole, walks past Liz who reaches out to him, past Stefan, past Elena, past Caroline's family, past the other graves, past the cars, past the houses. He walks and walks until he reaches Caroline's house. There's a key hidden in a hollowed out rock in their garden. Caroline used to swear it was a great hiding place, but any idiot with working eyes could see it. He takes the key out, sticks it into the lock, and walks in. He hasn't been here since the night before Caroline died.

Damon walks up the stairs, towards her room. He closes the door behind him, and looks around. Clothes are tossed everywhere, her text books are lying open on the ground, shoes litter the floor, her makeup is scattered on every surface in the room. He kicks his shoes off, takes off his jacket, and climbs into her bed, pulling the covers up over his chin. He's met with her perfume and the smell of her skin. He presses his nose into her pillow, wishing she would appear beside him and wrap her arms around him, whispering, "I'm here, it was a dream."

She doesn't come, and Damon falls asleep alone.

Funny, because he doesn't wake up alone.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Edited and re-uploaded.


	2. Chapter 2

**this tragedy is paving the way to my heart**

.

those who loved before will be brought back together  
>and so they say baby, for everything a reason<br>and so they say baby you will be brought  
>brought back to me<p>

- for everything a reason, carina round

* * *

><p>PART TWO.<p>

* * *

><p>"Wake up, sleepy," Caroline yawns in his ear. He keeps his eyes screwed shut, because he knows she's not real. He wishes she was, but <em>his<em> Caroline is dead and buried in the ground. He's cold, so inexplicably cold. He pulls her blanket tighter around him. Caroline yawns out, "Seriously, babe," she sighs against him, "I_ know_ you're awake. I'm hungry, make me pancakes."

"Go away." Damon mumbles pitifully. God must be playing a joke on him. It's not funny. He just wants her hands and body and voice to go away so he can drag himself out of her bed to face another day without her. He thinks this, and yet, he can't force himself away from her. Even if the contact isn't real, he's going to cherish it. Perhaps he's dreaming.

* * *

><p>(If he is, he wants to sleep forever.)<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>Hey,<em> this is _my_ room. I'm not going anywhere, grumpy." Caroline teases lightly. He rolls over onto his back, and it's then that he realizes something is wrong. She's smiling down at him, and she runs a hand through her hair. Her hand comes away red and sticky, though she doesn't seem to notice. The air around them is filled with the rusty scent of blood, and there's dirt under her fingernails. _Gravel,_ he corrects himself, gravel from the parking lot of their school. His eyes widen, and he swallows thickly when he sees that she's still wearing her cheerleading uniform. A thin line of blood drips down from her hairline, instantly drying against her porcelain skin and leaving a brown streak. His opens his mouth, sucking in a heavy breath.

He was wrong. This isn't a dream. This is a _nightmare._

Damon slaps his hands over his eyes, mentally chanting, "Wake up, wake up, wake up," over and over. The weight from the bed disappears, and he breathes out a sigh of relief. A few moments later, he moves his hands, looking around the room. She's gone, but the rusty smell of blood still lingers, and there's a hint of her strawberry shampoo. He sinks lower onto the bed, pulling the covers back over his head. That's what she'd looked like when she had died, give or take a few minor details. She'd looked like a cheerleader, one who was privileged and loved and rich, and that's why she'd been targeted. Because she looked like she had money. He wants to strangle the man who'd mugged her and bashed her skull into the ground. He flinches as he thinks of thick hands wrapped around her, head being forced into the gravel again and again.

Damon imagines that she struggled, she kicked and spit and yelled. He imagines that she didn't beg for mercy. She was stronger than that. He prays she didn't cry. Prays she cursed at him and swung at him.

Damon sighs, rubbing his hands over his eyes. He can't the image of her hair caked with blood, the side of her head bashed in. He sniffs, eyes welling with tears he's not going to allow himself to cry. He tells himself that Caroline wouldn't have wanted him to be sad. She probably would have smacked him if she was alive.

If.

She.

Was.

Alive.

Damon shuts eyes, willing himself to sleep, praying he'll be knocked out for a long while so he only has to face a few hours without her.

* * *

><p>"Damon, hey, how are you?" Elena asks when he finally answers his phone. She'd been calling nonstop for the past hour.<p>

"I just buried my girlfriend, how do you _think_ I am?" he snaps, running a hand through his hair and flopping back onto Caroline's bed.

Elena is quiet for a moment, and he feels a little bad, "I didn't mean to—"

"I know," Damon sighs, interrupting her. "I'm sorry. I just—I'm just tired."

"I get it," Elena breathes, "I'm tired, too. Just—just call Stefan later, okay? He's worried..." she trails off, and then, she whispers, "He lost Caroline, too." the dial tone sounds as she hangs up, and he throws his phone onto the floor. They'd all lost her; him, Elena, Bonnie, Matt, Stefan, Liz, her dad...

"Why is _Elena_ calling you?" Caroline's voice interrupts his inner turmoil. He shoots up, scooting to the edge of the bed and sitting there. She's standing in front of her mirror on the other side of the room, brushing her hair. The brush combs through the sticky red tangled in her tresses, and his stomach knots together. "_Hey,_" she sets the brush down and she snaps her fingers at him, "I'm talking to you. Why is Elena calling you?" there's jealousy in her voice, and she props her hands up on her hips. "What, are you secretly dating her or something? Do you think she's prettier than me? Do you—" she cuts herself off, catching his bewildered expression in the mirror. "What?"

Damon sucks in a long breath, and says, shakily, "You're not real."

Caroline's eyebrows knit together, and she turns away from the mirror, towards him, "You're being weird, Damon." she tells him, tilting her head to the side. He swallows roughly and gets a little nauseous when she looks him in the face. Her blonde hair is matted and stained brown with dried blood. Bits of gravel and brain matter and hair mix into one big wound, and he wonders how she hasn't seen it in the mirror. He's _dreaming._ He has to be.

"No," he croaks, "you died. Six days ago. You were mugged and your head was smashed into the ground. I was there when Liz identified your body. I buried you. I put flowers on your coffin. I cried. You're_dead._"

With each passing word, Caroline's expression morphs; into one of disgust, then fear, then confusion. "D—Damon," she licks her lips, running a hand over the red side of her head. He looks away, "what's _wrong_with you?" she moves towards him, hands reaching out. The hand stained with red reaches to touch his shoulder, but it goes right through him. Caroline's mouth tries to form words, and she reaches for him again. Her hand goes through his other shoulder, his chest, and his hand. He feels cold, when she goes to—or tries to—touch him. Her lips quiver, and tears spring at the corners of her eyes like they always do when she's frustrated. "Why can't I—" she chokes out an angry sob, trying to grab his hand again, "_Why can't I hold your hand?_"

Damon reaches his own hand out, reaching for her waist. His hand goes right through her red and white uniform. Caroline's crying now, tears oozing down her cheeks. "What's—what's happening?" she chokes out, trying to grab his hand with both of hers.

Damon eyes cloud over and he whispers, "I told you. You're _dead._"

Caroline stills, "_No,_" she stumbles backwards, "no, _you're lying._" she falls back against the wall, and he stands up, holding his hands out. She shakes her head, "Why are you lying? Why are you—I didn't _die._ I didn't get my head smashed in—I..." something flashes across her face then, and she slowly raises her shaking hands to her head, touching the gaping wound underneath her hair. Her hand comes away red, and she stares at it in wonder. She looks back up, wiping her hand on her uniform, "I _died._" she whispers. "I'm dead."

"I'm _so_ sorry, baby," Damon chokes out, "I should have been there—I should have—"

"No," Caroline interrupts him, "I remember. He came up behind me when I was digging in my purse for my keys, poked his finger into my back..." she laughs lightly, and then says, "I thought he had a gun, so I dropped my bag and held my hands up. I tried—I tried talking to him, tried to make him see sense, but he wouldn't listen! And then, I tried to—I tried to get away, but he grabbed me around the waist," as she says this, her hands falls to her stomach, and she hugs her arms tight around herself. Damon stands, moving closer to her, as close as he can get without his entire body going through hers. The lines of their bodies blur, and he hears her start to cry. He stares at the wound on her head, and she goes on, "I kicked and punched just like you taught me...but he was too strong. He threw me down and—and my head hit the ground, again and again and again...and I died."

"And now you're here." Damon finishes. Her eyes flick up to meet his, and she bites her lip, nodding.

"Am I...am I a ghost?" Caroline asks.

Damon looks down at her hands, and wishes he could grab them in his own, "I don't know. I—" he sighs, "I just don't know, Caroline."

Caroline's eyes once again well up with tears, and she whispers, "I wish you could hold me."

Damon looks away, hiding the tears in his own eyes from her, "Me too," he chokes out.

* * *

><p>"So...what do we do?" Caroline asks warily. They're lying face to face on her bed, so close, barely touching, but it's not close enough. He just doesn't like the feeling of her body near his when he's not allowed to touch her for some weird, inane reason.<p>

"I don't know. Maybe—maybe this isn't real. Maybe we're dreaming." Damon offers lamely. He doesn't really believe that theory, but it'd be an easier to swallow than this ghost business.

Caroline's eyebrows come together, her forehead crinkles, and he fights the urge to smooth it out with his thumb, "What?" she questions, "Like a shared dream?" she shakes her head, "Those aren't real. It's a myth."

"And _ghosts_ are real?" Damon counters smoothly. "I put you in the ground," he whispers urgently, scooting closer to her. Her eyes widen, "I held your mom when she was crying. I fell asleep in your bed last night after your funeral and when I woke up, you were here. I don't know what this is, exactly...but I'm thinking it's a miracle." he sucks in a breath, swimming in her eyes. He'd thought he'd never see the color of her eyes again. "I lost you...and then I got you back."

Caroline bites her lip, and then whispers, "It's not a miracle, Damon." she reaches out, her hand going through his chest. Her eyes meet his, "It's a punishment." she pulls her hand away, "I can hear you and talk to you but I can't touch you. It's hell." she closes her eyes, and repeats herself, "It's _hell._"

Damon closes his eyes, sucking in a ragged breath. "We'll figure it out." he tells her, "Somehow."

* * *

><p>"Do you think I have unfinished business or something?" Caroline asks, watching him pour himself a cup of coffee in her kitchen while she sits on a counter top. "I mean...isn't that what ghosts do?"<p>

Damon shrugs, "I'm not a Ghostbuster, Care. I don't know what's happening anymore than you do." Caroline bites her lip, and he feels a little bad. He sets his coffee mug on the counter and walks over to her. He leans against the counter beside her, and says, "I wish I had this all figured out, but all I know is my girlfriend is a ghost. But she's _back._" she meets his gaze, "She's not locked in a box in the ground. She's sitting right next to me. She's _talking_ to me." Caroline looks down, legs swinging, "Can't I be happy about that for a moment?" he asks quietly.

Caroline's eyes water, "I don't _want_ to be dead, Damon," she whispers. "I'm scared. What if I just vanish and you never see me again? I just want to know what's going on."

Damon put his hand through hers, and says, "I know."

They stay like that for a few minutes, hands overlapping each other. They hear Liz start to move around upstairs and they start the trek back to her room, where they curl up together—but not really—in her bed, wondering what the evening would bring them.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Edited and re-uploaded.


	3. Chapter 3

**this tragedy is paving the way to my heart**

**.**

aren't you somethin' to admire?  
>'cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror<br>and i can't help but notice  
>you reflect in this heart of mine<p>

- mirrors, justin timberlake

* * *

><p>PART THREE.<p>

* * *

><p>Somehow, Damon had fallen asleep after they'd had gone upstairs to avoid Liz. He wakes with a jolt, shooting upwards in Caroline's bed, eyes frantically searching the room. Caroline is nowhere to be found. <em>It was a dream,<em> he tells himself. _She wasn't really here. _He falls back onto the bed, rubbing his eyes. They feel raw and heavy. Like he'd been crying, or trying not to. He hates this feeling, the feeling of helplessness. He's never felt this hurt, this deep. Not even when his parents had passed away some years before. At that time, he'd had Stefan to worry about. But now, he had nothing.

Because Caroline had been _everything._

Since they had met, and he'd wiggled his way into scoring a date with her, his whole world had been about her. Her happiness. Her laughter. Her smile. She was the sun he revolved around. _I should have picked her up. _He mentally slaps himself again for letting this happen to her. It's his fault. He might as well have bashed her face into the ground himself. He doesn't think he'll ever stop blaming himself.

Reluctantly pulling himself from Caroline's bed, he fumbles around in the dark, looking for his phone. He'd promised Elena he'd call Stefan. His little brother was probably out of his mind with worry. Damon wasn't exactly the most stable person. Caroline had kept him grounded, had pulled him out of every rut he'd been stuck in, and now that she was gone...well, Stefan had every right to be worried. _Because Damon couldn't live without her._

Finally, he finds his phone resting on Caroline's bedside table. He dials Stefan's number, avoiding the picture of Caroline's smiling face that was on his screen. Stefan picks up in the middle of the first ring, "Damon? Damon, where are you?" Stefan sounds frantic, and Damon feels a little bad for making him worry.

"I'm at Caroline's. I just...I needed to sleep here one last time."

Stefan deflates, letting out a gust of breath, "Oh."

"Relax, brother. I'm not going to off myself." Damon sneers. _Yet._

"Damon..." Stefan sighs, always so levelheaded and calm, "I know it feels like the end of the world, but it's not. Caroline wouldn't want you to hurt yourself-"

"With all due respect, Stef, you have _no _idea how I feel. Come talk to me when _Elena's_ head gets smashed into the ground." Damon snaps. He sighs, running a hand through his hair, Stefan stays quiet, "I'm not going to do anything stupid, okay? I just...I just need some time."

"Okay," Stefan sighs, and Damon can imagine the brooding look on his face, "Come home when you're ready. I love you, Damon."

"I love you too, Stefan." Damon says, and it sounds like a promise. He hangs up, tossing his phone onto the bed. He rests his head in his hands, rubbing his temples with his thumbs. He can feel a pounding headache coming on. Caroline used to force him into the shower when he got headaches. She would strip down to nothing, a perfect vision, and wash his hair and massage his scalp and sing to him until the headache was gone. He'd always gotten bad headaches, and he'd never found a remedy for them until Caroline.

He supposes he'll have to find a new solution since his go-to was dead.

Damon stands, finds a towel hung on the back of Caroline's rocking chair, and opens the bottom drawer of her dresser, pulling some of the clothes she'd stolen from him out. He finds a clean shirt, boxers, and a sweatshirt. The little devil was always making off with his things. He'd always pretended to be mad when she made off with one of his shirts, but he enjoyed seeing her in them when she slept. It was a _thing._ Just something they did that made them Damon and Caroline.

Now it was just Damon.

* * *

><p>Caroline had her own bathroom, joined to her bedroom, something she loved and never stopped bragged about. When he enters the bathroom, he's assaulted with <em>her. <em>The smell of her shampoo, her body wash, her lotion. He turns on the shower, stands by the counter until the room has steamed up completely. He showers quickly, not wanting to be surrounded by her anymore. It hurts, thinking of the showers they'd taken together or the times she'd been sick from drinking too much and he'd held her hair away from her face. He can't picture himself doing any of that with anyone else. Caroline was _it. _His soul's other half. He feels like he should be dead, too, without her.

Damon towels off and changes quickly, leaving the bathroom. The headache had dwindled a bit, but was still very present. He thinks it's time for him to leave anyway. He's already spent too much time wallowing here. He leaves Caroline's room, knowing full well he'll be back. Going down the stairs, he can hear crying coming from the living room.

Liz sits on the couch, head in her hands, shoulders shaking.

Standing in front of her, looking lost and helpless, is Caroline. Bloody cheer uniform and head wound included. Damon stops moving upon seeing her. So she _was_ real. She must have been down here the whole time he was upstairs sleeping, watching her mother cry for her. Liz is mumbling something that sounds like, "My baby, my sweet baby." and there are tears streaming down Caroline's cheeks. She reaches out, as if to rest her hand on Liz's head, but her fingers go right through. She growls in frustration, trying again, and again, and again.

"She can't see me!" Caroline cries, tears in her voice, "And I can't hug her and tell her I love her and _I'd rather be completely dead _if I can't tell my mom I love her." she sinks to her knees in front of Liz, "It's okay, I'm here. I know you can't see me or hear me, but I'm here. I love you, mommy."

Caroline looks at him, desperate, eyes pleading with him to do something.

Damon can't take his eyes off of the scene, and if his heart wasn't in pieces before, it would be now. He comes forward, sits on the couch beside Liz. He rests a hand on her shoulder, and Liz responds immediately, collapsing against his side, her sobs growing louder, "My _baby._" she cries, over and over.

"She loved you, Liz. She loved you so much." Damon promises, holding his girlfriend's mom as tight as he can. Caroline sits on the couch on the other side of Liz, hands raised as if to help, and Damon knows it's killing her, ahem, to see her mother like this and not being able to do anything about it.

Eventually, Caroline's mother cries herself to sleep, head in Damon's lap. He moves himself out from underneath her. Caroline wraps her arms around herself, asks, "Will you take her upstairs?" Damon nods, lifting the older woman in his arms. He winces when she mumbles Caroline's name in her sleep. He cannot fathom the pain she must feel at losing her only child. Her hurt probably mirrors his own. He deposits Liz onto her bed, tucking her in. Closing the door behind him, he walks quietly to Caroline's room.

Caroline is sitting on her bed, eyes downcast. "Why couldn't she see me?" she asks as soon as Damon sits down beside her.

"I don't know."

"Why can _you _see me?" she asks.

"I don't know."

"Well, what _do_ you know?!" Caroline snaps in frustration, rubbing a hand over the wound on her head. "It itches." she whines, turning to him. "Why did this happen to me?" she breathes, voice cracking. "I thought I was a good person."

Damon shakes his head, placing his hand over hers, even though it goes right through, "You _are. _You are a good person. The best. The best person I know." he wishes he could hold her tightly, make her feel better, wipe her tears away like he'd always done before.

"I wish I could kiss you." she hiccups, looking away from him. "But you would't wanna kiss me when I'm all bloody and dead, anyway."

Damon rolls his eyes, "Caroline, I'd kiss you even if you hadn't brushed your teeth in a week."

She giggles, the desired effect, and he allows himself a small smile.

"Will we get through this?" she turns her eyes onto him, shiny and tear filled.

"One way or another." Damon promises.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Don't KILL ME I'M SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT THIS STORY I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON and to be honest I sort of fell out of love with Damon in the last couple of seasons because he became a royal asshole. But, my love for Caroline urges me on, and I **WILL **finish this story. I'm thinking there will be ten parts, so seven more to go. Bear with me here. Hopefully you guys haven't forgotten about this story.


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